Sunday, April 29, 2012

If I had a million dollars


My seat is always empty on days like these. It’s almost 30 years since I attended an ‘Old Firm’ match, and there’s a strong possibility that I may never again get the chance to avoid a game between Celtic (1888) and Rangers (1872), and guess what? I’ll not lose any sleep over it.

Rangers, as we know it, could go out of business any day now. Even if someone submits a bid to buy the club’s assets and its owner’s shares, can he afford to take on the club’s current and potential (tax) debts? I’m no accountant, but a large number of my fellow Celtic fans have learned a phenomenal amount about accounting and law through following the saga of our oldest rivals. What I am, is a football fan, hence my support for Celtic, and not Rangers.

As a football fan, I have tried to be objective, and I have tried to think how I would feel if the (football) boot were on the other foot. I might be devastated. I might be apathetic. I might be judgemental, like I was when we almost went out of business in the 90s, before Brian Dempsey and the Bunnet saved the club from extinction. My objectivity went out the window last week when Alistair McCoist, the cheeky chappy off the telly, opened his mouth and let his belly rumble. As a result, members of a secret SFA panel (which wasn’t a secret to Rangers, apparently) were threatened, and Raith Rovers had to get the polis in to stop its stadium being burned down. I got that last bit off the Internet, so it may not be strictly true, but what I, and everyone else, heard last week would have got Neil Lennon clapped in irons and sent to the Tower of London had he uttered it.

Rangers’ management, past and present, has a habit of shooting its mouth off in the media. If anyone tells me that Ally didn’t know what he was saying, then they are more deluded than anyone who believes anything David Murray, Craig Whyte or Duff and Phelps have ever said. McCoist, and his predecessor, Smith, have always known exactly what they were saying, and when and where to say it. What little sympathy the Rangers manager had has surely vanished. Hasn’t it?

The accountants of all the remaining SPL clubs are probably the ones who are losing most sleep at the prospect of being denied the revenue two visits from Rangers would yield. However, has Dundee United been paid what it is owed by Rangers for a cup-tie and a league game? Has Heart of Midlothian been paid for Lee Wallace? This is what it all comes down to: just how much are all the other clubs willing to let Rangers get away with.

If I was rich, I’d buy them, but the Newco would look totally different from the club it replaced. I’d allow them to play at Ibrox. I’d keep the name, well, I’d used the name; Rangers United or Rangers Athletic or something. I’d get them involved in the community, with children of all creeds and colours and, speaking of colours, I’d give them a makeover. No more the red, white and blue to match the Union flag. What about sky-blue, like Coventry, or a nice all-white ensemble? I’d get rid of the songs, too, and any hint of Orangeism. Yes, keep a club in Govan, but neuter it beyond all recognition, cleanse it of its sins.

Even if their worst nightmare (the 'Big Tax Case') doesn't materialise, it could take a lot more than a million dollars to save them. Any advance on 100 million? You can count me out, though. If I had money like that, I could think of many things I'd rather spend it on. Let them die.

In case you were wondering, we won 3-0.

No comments: