Nothing to see here. Move along, now.

Is there anything worse than summer? Well, probably winter, but you know what I mean. Apart from holidays and festivals, there’s nothing happening. There’s nothing to watch on TV, though a major sporting event helps fill any empty schedule. There are no concerts or plays to take in, unless you either live in, or are willing to keep travelling to, our nation’s capital. The Edinburgh International Festival, the Fringe, the Book Festival and a whole host of other festivals could keep me occupied 24/7 for a month, if I had a regular income that didn’t have to come from a 9-5 job. I manage to get to the occasional concert every year or two, but don’t feel like I have either the patience or the time to go trawling round pubs, decommissioned telephone boxes, disused public toilets or wigwams trying to uncover the next Eddie Izzard or Jeremy Hardy. It’s not just patience, or time or money I need. I could have had a couple of hours there on each of the last two Saturdays, but I’m just not interested. Some of you would think I’m not making the most of my life, that I lack courage and imagination, but what sort of life is it when you’d rather walk up and down the street eating a cold pie from nearby Tesco rather than go into a crowded restaurant or bar for a meal before a concert? What’s the point of humiliating myself? Mind you, I do that on a regular basis. This life is becoming steadily more unpleasant. Is there anything worse than that?